Wendy Wortham on The Empty Nest Ceremony for Midlife Women 

A brief explanation of an “Empty Nest” ceremony marks the time of transition, or the “rite of passage,” which emerges for parents in the moment theist or only child leaves home.

In our society, this critical transition is paid little attention through the ceremonial form, yet is a most significant milestone in a parent’s life. In fact, it is so poorly recognized and supported in our society that for many, it leads to depression, commonly referred to as “Empty Nest Syndrome” due to loss of a familiar identity as a parent and the enormity of the mystery of the future ahead, now that the children are gone.

An “Empty Nest Ceremony” is an opportunity to create a supportive experience for parents, offering comfort around whatever feelings arise–abandonment, loneliness, insecurity, fear, loss of purpose–all while opening a door to the excitement of a future less constrained by responsibility and full of possibilities.

The following Empty Nest ceremony was designed specifically for a woman 40-60 years of age. This ceremony can be held at any time after the last or only child leaves for college or moves out into the world. I suggest a guest list of up to 10 people to keep things very intimate and create a participatory experience.

Laying some groundwork for this type of ceremony is useful since the concept of an Empty Nest ceremony is so unusual. Providing an explanation to guests in advance will cultivate their interest and support, which is vital to the person being honored.

This is easily find with ceremony invitation, I recommend that either myself, as the Officiant, or a ceremony participant send it out on behalf of the parent being honored.

Materials needed are one candle, plenty of twigs, sticks, cotton, leaves, tree bark, raffia, any kinds of natural fibers, glue, tape, scissors, all of which will be used to create the “nest.”

A sample invitation:
Please come to
Imagine
Create
Decorate
Be With
Honor
Support
Bless
And
Celebrate
________’s Empty Nest ______ at ___ o clock in the sanctuary of _______’s home.

On this night, an intimate group of _____’s friends will gather to make a symbolic art piece resembling an empty nest–“______’s Empty Nest.” The nest will then be filled with our “offerings and support” for the time of transition now unfolding in ______’s life. For this purpose, please bring a small symbolic item of your choice, perhaps an inspirational note, poem, photo, blessing, wish or small object.

Other than being delicate enough to rest in the best we will build, your offering need only be limited to your imagination. The resulting, no-longer-empty nest and its gifts of support will be left to reside in ____’s home, serving as a reminder if the loving support she has in her life at this most precious time.

The candle lighting is to signify the creation of sacred space. The first thing I like to talk about is the “liminal space” the word liminal means threshold or, in-between or on the edge. The liminal spa Ed in life are the times of transition–when life circumstances are changing, but you don’t yet know what will come next.

These transitional times are often difficult emotionally because not knowing what comes next can be uncomfortable or scary- BUT not knowing can also be exciting when shared with friends and close confidantes.

Think of a roller coaster. For some, not knowing when the drop will come is terrifying; for others, it’s thrilling. Yet for some it is both scary AND thrilling.

The time in between the last upward whoosh of the roller coaster and the next big downward whoosh might be considered “liminal space.” Things slow down. They become a little wobbly, less certain, perhaps dark like a tunnel.

This is what this particular ceremony is all about. I perform many types if ceremonies and found the need for this among women to be virtually non existent- after my son married and moved away, I was lost as to how to fill my time.

By honoring ALL transitional times in your life and the lives of your intimate circle of friends and family, respective feelings, projections and visions of one’s life experience become more balanced. Ceremony eases passage through the tunnels of transition, transforming the dark-and mysteriousness of the liminal space into a beacon of light.