15
Jul

I’m Often Asked Why I’m So Passionate & Driven, The Answer Might Surprise You.

Why I Believe Passion is Earned Rather than Learned. Success Requires Sacrifice and sacrifice requires time, time requires patience. I’ve spent most of my life working several jobs at a time.

Often in life we meet people from many walks of life with various backgrounds and lifestyles. Occasionally you meet someone who actually loves life.

In saying this, I’m stating that this person loves their family, loves their job, loves each day they spend able to wake up and face a new day. Rare, but it happens more than you might imagine.

Occasionally I’m asked where I get my passion, my energy, my stamina, my ambition. The answer is more complex that you might think, I earned it. Through volunteer efforts in numerous affiliations along with the role of matriarch in my family, since we had no mother, I took the role upon myself. Empathy and compassion should be taught in schools but, teachers are often overwhelmed with standard curriculums already.

My son volunteered with me at many soup kitchens and missions- he learned to appreciate the many trips to Hawaii as well as the limousine shuttles to the airport when I was away working and unable to drive him to DFW myself. Had I not exposed my son to the reality faced by the less fortunate, perhaps he would have turned a blind eye- easy to do in today’s society. My twin and I have always taught the children to be empathetic to the flights of others and perhaps because we faced struggles of our own from a childhood of working at a young age, believed in the virtues of strong work ethics.

There have been many times in my life that I was willing to work for free, yes that’s right, free! In order to prove my ability, I have worked many positions for one week without pay to prove that I was capable of not only completing the task at hand, but exceeding any expectation that have been put upon me. You see, I had to be somewhat interested in the industry and, without experience found the best way to learn was with a hands on approach. I’m a fast study and push myself regularly to learn new things.

I’ve always lived my life not counting on a second chance to do anything I took interest in a second time. In life there are no do-overs. To count on the opportunity to correct an error is a tragedy in itself.

In relationships whether they are professional or personal, you treat others with respect and hopefully your manners are reciprocated. Bridge burning is never a good plan for you or anyone close to you.

Although I’ve often been told to write a book, I’ve not yet found the passion to do so. While I have faced numerous obstacles, they were never easy to overcome, struggle and survival much like passion, is earned. Learning to budget at a young age, planning your future, working for that which you desire, earning the privilege of a few luxuries in life I’ve found that in middle age I’m unwilling to “settle” when making a purchase these days. Oh for many years of course, I did. But if I cannot buy what I desire, I prefer to do without.

Being the best you can everyday? A lot of work? Too much effort? Perhaps life has been too easy for you my friend. Hard work, reliability, punctuality and many other facets build character.

Instilling the ability to overcome the unforeseen job loss of a parent for many children and couples is often the first traumatic event on a family, or perhaps death or illness. When protecting our children from anything that might upset them, perhaps we are doing them a disadvantage.

However, getting through to these families who seek my advice takes time and patience most often when dealing with people who have never suffered a traumatic event that would force them to react positively rather than run from adversity. Running away may seem easy, however it never offers a solution. Or a remedy to the next traumatic event either. Most often, job loss, wage cuts, exhausted unemployment benefits, insurance issues and more cause a huge strain on an otherwise healthy and happy family. How to overcome these strains? Cutting excessive buying habits, going to dinner 5 nights a week, exotic motor cars, and many other “necessities.” Necessary to whom? And why? When married couples use credit cards or credit lines to keep up with the neighbors, a small shift in finances becomes a burn den not only for the couple but for the children as well. Creating a relatively nominal budget is the first step in addressing overspending habits and by working together to meet this goal, families meet in the middle and grow closer as a unit.

Sometimes we fear the unknown, the unexpected, the unforeseen.

Meeting these strangers and finding conflict resolution can change your life. I had to overcome a chronic stutter with ten years of speech therapy- yes 10! Today no one can discern I’ve ever struggled with the issue, I carefully think before speaking and my pronunciation is perfect. You see, I earned the importance of good grammar and spelling by a deficiency in my speech pattern. Most people attempt to guess the origin of my dialect without ever coming close. A few often speak to me or my sister in another language- assuming we are either Italian, French or Hispanic.

Learning something new isn’t always easy- Cindy and I struggled two years through rigorous self defense courses. Yes, I’m experienced in Tae Kwon Do and Tae Chi not because I enjoy Martial Arts but, because I’ve been a victim of a mugging twice in different states. You see for me fear catapults me into overcoming an issue I chose to never face again. No one expects to be the victim of an attack, and while I live in Texas and have several handguns should an intruder kick my door in, I was crossing the street in San Francisco when the mugger pulled the strap of my purse while pushing me out into the path of a trolley car.

The second incident was at the Dallas Apparel Mart while walking to my car after 14 hours of modeling wedding dresses. Thinking my shoe bag strap had broken, I would turn to face a man much taller than I and significantly stronger.

Just weeks prior I had been instructed by a police officer to agree with an attacker, be calm, give them what they want and your survival chances were significantly higher during a self defense class at a womens luncheon. At the time, I decided that if faced with that situation, I would react differently.

Won Park knocked the wind out of my lungs twice a week alongside my twin sister. Yes, the class was very difficult for us both and, the only way I could find to feel safe and able to defend myself after the San Francisco incident.

One of the ladies in the police defense class was later abducted from Thom Thumb Page on Bryant Irwin Street and found in Oklahoma dead in the trunk of her own vehicle-women everywhere in Texas were buying handguns. That incident alone would give me the stamina to learn Martial Arts with my sister. We were black and blue for month on end before finally knocking the wind out of our instructor- thrilled, we took more classes. I felt it very important to be able to defend myself without a weapon should it be necessary.

Facing my attacker in Dallas, I knew that I had no plans or weapons to defend myself. I was unaware he had a switchblade knife until taking off my jewelry and handing it to him along with the keys to my car. He roughly advised me that I was to get inside my car and drive- this would quickly put me in a survival mode of attack that nearly cut my thumb off wrestling the knife away from my assailant.

Women need to be aware that anger can fuel your ability to fight back and that anger gave me a window to use Martial Arts skills I learned to attack my assailant until security guards pried me off of his chest.

Yes, I have spoken to many groups regarding the attack in the parking lot and have never been sorry that I reacted in anger rather than fear knowing my son was waiting at home for me made me furious that this person had delayed my arrival home. Three hand surgeries later, the top and inside of my palm remain different colors with nerve damage. Yes, I destroyed my own hand but, had I not perhaps this blog and the information herein would not inform others of preparedness measures that might save their life one day.

I was working free that day in Dallas. Proving my ability to sell high end designer clothing and wedding gowns in order to be considered as a paid model. Prior to the parking lot, I had remarkable success and, years later I realize the parking lot was a success as well although certainly never expected.

Three months later at Market, I would walk right off the runway and dislocate my knee. Exhausted from working long hours, I took the turn too late and wound up at Parkland.

Knowing that my dresser and stylist would be counting on my ability to return to Market and finish my “rack” in order to be paid was the reason I returned to work rather than going home as many expected. My work ethics are unsurpassed with many coworkers, I’m not only willing to go the extra mile, I’m willing to go to the next state! If I’m not in a hospital- I’m at work.

My previous clients have and always will feel comfortable calling me to assist them years after a sale. I earned their trust prior to the original sale. Selling is based on relationships, trust, and desire. I’ve sold just about everything in my life and nothing I would not have purchased myself. If I didn’t believe in a product, I’ve never sold or even attempted to sell it. Lying to earn a living has never been an obstacle I was forced to overcome.

When couples I’ve married call me and complain that they have no passion in their marriage, they are often surprised when I ask what additional efforts they’ve put forth to bring something to the table. You see, life, work, stress and family pressures can get in the way. Couples who survive trauma and tragedy often are stronger and even closer because they survived together! But remember, any relationship requires effort, respect, and finally recognition of your partner.

This weekend I’ve been invited to a birthday party for Melissa. Most of my readers recall the tragic circumstances of this stunning Maid of Honor who fell asleep after coming to Fort Worth for a fitting at David’s Bridal and died returning to college for a final. Bonny is celebrating her birthday with friends, stories, and photos at a restaurant where Melissa had her very first margarita on her 21st birthday. I immediately altered my schedule to attend. A birthday party for a young brilliant girl no longer here? You bet! Her parents still remember her birthday and why not celebrate with schoolmates and friends to reminisce and remember? In life there are many who struggle everyday with loss and sadness- your smile can brighten their day, your taking a moment to listen may lighten their heart. Take the time if you can, kindness means so much to so many.

What doesn’t break us, makes us stronger! Life is full of possibilities, the way we deal with these possibilities is often on our own shoulders.

Learning compassion, experiencing life, and loving your partner, your job, your coworkers as well as your opportunities in life and love, brings you passion!

Many of you know that I worked many years as a commercial and print model. What you may not know is that I started my career as a Cadillac salesperson knowing that as the only female, I needed an edge to sell more and support my family and, I was willing to go outside the box to do it!

Hiring my own photographer, using my own gowns and paying for my own advertising earned me the winners circle.

Thinking outside the box with love or life takes passion. Sacrificing your time to exceed expectations of others takes commitment.

I am who I am because nothing in my life was ever handed to me or my twin sister. We earned it, we worked for it, and we shared it with others less fortunate than ourselves. Why? Because, we had been where they are, we had seen what they have seen, we understood that unfortunate circumstances had put then at a disadvantage of either being jobless , overwhelmed and the victim of circumstances beyond their control.

My brother in law left the US to work as a contractor in Iraq after being laid off from Albertsons. He faced many dangerous situations that haunt him even today. When asked why- he needs no time to consider the answer, he left to provide for his family.

Do something different today- think outside your box. Turn off that TV and spend time with your wife or husband and children. Put more effort into that assignment at work you wish didn’t lay untouched on your desk.

Looking for an opportunity to do something you have no experience in? Offer to work for free! It has worked for me and, if you are willing to sacrifice your time and commitment about something that gives you passion-you my friend will succeed in anything you put your mind to whether it’s in love or in life…

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