Get Off My Cloud If You Aren’t On My Books. More Divas, Drama & Demands?

Today, it’s time to once again “go over my booking requirement of paying your deposit and signing a contract.” If you haven’t paid your deposit AND signed a contract, then you haven’t booked myself or my staff for your event. Period. 

My time and my calendar are dedicated to booked clients. For months now, I’ve sent out contracts that haven’t been returned to people who consistently email or text me taking my valuable time away from booked clients. 

If you haven’t returned your contract along with your deposit, you are not a client and you are not entitled to have me answering and addressing numerous emails and text messages on a daily basis either. 

Spending hours answering texts, phone calls and emails from someone who feels entitled to “immediate attention” although they have not taken any of the required steps to retain my services is a VERY time consuming endeavor. 

Booked clients are a priority. Booked clients have followed procedure put in place and booked clients will always come first. I do not nor will I ever overbook my schedule to accommodate a last minute request. My minutes are booked. 

Yesterday, not one but four people whom I had mailed contracts for services to months ago, “needed me to send them Corrective Affidavits as the inmate was listed as CLM to someone other than them.” I was on location at an event when these “requests” came in. No, I don’t have a PDF file to email to you. I’m on location and working but will help you when I’m available. 

Providing you with a Corrective Document that I spent time typing up for your benefit and then mailing to you at my own expense when you haven’t bothered to pay your deposit and return your contract is wearing on my patience. Immediately emailing you? Come on. 

Contacting me after 6PM on a Friday night when I’ve been working for ten hours and I’ve been on site? I’m sorry but “these types of emergencies” aren’t going to be addressed immediately while I’m working with another client ya all. Patience is a virtue. After all, I’ve been patiently waiting for you to return my contract and deposit. 

Send your contract back along with your deposit. I didn’t go to the trouble to send it to you for it to collect dust on your end. I sent it to you to sign and return with your deposit. I can assure you that no other vendor “would be running to the post office” to send you a Corrective Affidavit while on their way to a booked client. 

My attention and focus are on the client in front of me and on books. Each and every day, my life operates on a strict schedule. 

Today’s booking required me to make 3 stops at the florist, baker and Taylor’s for chair and table rentals while “squeezing in a trip to the post office to mail you a Corrective Affidavit or Absentee Affidavit.” You’re welcome. Now– send me your contract and your deposit. 

For several weeks now, people who haven’t returned their contract or paid their deposit have consistently “expected me to drop everything I’m doing for my other clients to attend to their needs.” This must stop. One person has emailed me over fifty times. That’s right, I said over fifty times. Consider for a moment just how much time it takes from my days to answer 50 plus emails. Add in text messages and phone calls. My “job” requires me to address clients questions and concerns. My “job” also requires a huge amount of my time PRIOR to the actual event. 

I am literally juggling 20-30 clients from month to month. I cannot “immediately respond to texts or emails” because I work seven days a week 365 days a year. I’m on location daily with clients. 

I will answer you and address your concerns when I’m NOT WITH A CLIENT ON LOCATION. I answer every email, text and phone call when I have time. I will not take time from a client while on location to address someone else. Such behavior is not only unprofessional but also reckless. I’m neither unprofessional or reckless. Would you want me addressing someone else at your event? No, you wouldn’t. 

As shocking as this may sound, I have several clients not one. In fact, I turn down new booking requests everyday especially during wedding season. I’m selective. I don’t need overbook and I don’t advertise. I also don’t show up to your event without payment in full and a contract on file outlying the terms of our agreement. No one else will either. 

A few people have called me for services and “saw that you perform prison weddings. I’m uncomfortable about inmate marriage and wanted to let you know that.” What the? Who cares? I don’t care. My other clients don’t care. If you have a problem with my other clients, move on. Have a nice day but don’t assume I care about your opinions regarding my other clients. 

Prison marriages compromise over 85% of my bookings. Traditional events are compromised of 85% of previous Prison wedding clients planning their Vow Renewal with myself and my staff. What does this mean to you? It means I could care less about what your thoughts regarding inmate marriage are. It means that rarely do I take on a client who isn’t rebooking services. It means that I’m not interested in taking on your event if you are biased and assume that your opinions of my main client base warrant my attention. They don’t. You don’t either. You are also wasting my valuable time by “voicing your concerns” about clients you will never meet or much less “share your event date or service with.” Get over yourself. 

“I don’t believe in same sex marriage and you perform LBGT weddings. I’m uncomfortable with your affiliation.” Again, who cares? I don’t care. They don’t care. Your opinion and the time you took out of MY day to voice YOUR opinion could have been spent with people who value my time and I prefer to direct my efforts to those clients who are worthy of my time. Move on, find someone else to listen to your views. Have a nice day. 

Last week while driving back from Hilltop Unit in Gatesville, Texas, I took a call from someone wanting a planner in October. She also wanted to “meet me in person.” Attempting to find a day when I would be available to meet her was difficult. Why? I work seven days a week that’s why. I also drive hundreds of miles a day Monday through Friday to Prison Weddings. You know, the mainstay of my bookings. Not the minority. The majority of my bookings. The caller was offended I couldn’t meet her sooner? Are you kidding me? It’s wedding season. No one is important enough for me to alter my schedule to accommodate their schedule. I don’t care who you are. 

People contacting me and assuming that I have nothing better to do than sit around my office waiting on the phone to ring are wildly mistaken. 

I’m busy making Dream Events a Reality from Fort Worth, Texas. Time is money to me. If you want a meeting with me, I can assure you that it will be according to MY schedule NOT YOURS. 

I give each and every client 150% of my attention. What I don’t do is refocus my attention on someone at their convenience because they assume they are somehow important enough to warrant this “redirection.” You called me remember? 

Leaving Connally Unit Thursday, another caller wanted an Officiant. The date she requested is already full in my opinion with two weddings cities apart. I explained to her “I rarely book three events on the same day. It’s exhausting and I don’t feel I’m giving each client my best when I’m overburdened rushing from Event A to Event B to Event C. Because of this, I don’t book more than two events on the same day.” 

As usual, the caller wasn’t happy about having a morning ceremony in order to accommodate my 1PM ceremony in Dallas and my 4:30PM wedding in Grapevine. 

I MUST FACTOR DISTANCE from each and every event. I CANNOT AND WILL NOT risk being late to accommodate someone who should have located an Officiant or planner months ago. Not my luggage not my trip. 

If you’d like to book someone else on my staff who is available, you are welcome to do so. What you aren’t welcome to do is insist on squeezing into my schedule. I’ve had clients reschedule their event to accommodate my schedule for years and you too are welcome to do so. 

You are also welcome to choose someone else on my team to accommodate you. What you cannot do is tell me I “have plenty of time to get to my next event by accommodating your timeline.” Move on. Good luck to you. 

“You hired someone else that didn’t show up at your event but, you had talked to me a few weeks ago and NOW you need me at your event because the other person didn’t show up.” Are you crazy? Did you assume that I was sitting at home watching the Golf Channel waiting for you to call? 

Emergency Officiant fees are in place for a damn good reason ya all, I DO NOT HAVE EMERGENCIES. You do. 

You also may have “talked to me a few weeks ago and decided to hire someone else” because I refused to triple book myself to accommodate your schedule. You took a risk. You also assumed the liability of your decision to hire another vendor. I wasn’t available then and I’m not available now. Choose someone else on my staff or find someone else willing to drop everything else and run to your location. 

Finding anyone AVAILABLE to accommodate your need for emergency services ON WEDDING DAY during wedding season is going to be difficult if not impossible. 

You could also choose to enjoy your very “expensive party” because without an Officiant, there won’t be a legal wedding I can assure you. You have a problem but you could have chosen another Officiant on my staff who was available and you chose not to. 

I no longer take emergency Officiant or planner requests. My schedule is booked up to two years out on weekends and evenings. My weekdays are spent at prisons. I do not overbook and will not even consider overbooking. I don’t HAVE TO WORK. I enjoy what I do and who I do it for but understand that “your monkeys aren’t my monkeys.” 

Keep your monkeys and your opinions. Keep your problems too. If you hired someone else, you are liable for not doing more research. When you hire myself or my staff- you can rest assured that we will be on site and ready to work. If you hired someone else, you trusted them to be as dedicated, loyal and responsible as we are and… you made a mistake. 

Don’t call me while I’m on site with someone who entrusted us to take care of their event. I’m busy. My staff is busy. Call someone who doesn’t have any clients sitting at home on a Saturday watching the Golf Channel to show up at your event instead. If someone in the Events business is sitting at home during wedding season, you might just ask them why. There’s a reason. No one wanted to book them and they are watching the Golf Channel because no one booked them leaving them completely available. Call em. 

Don’t call a successful business in season and expect them to be watching tv. They are on the job. They were booked for the job months ago too. 

While you are calling soneone who isn’t busy for your emergency because you hired the wrong vendor, be sure to “screen them” by asking if they perform LBGT weddings or inmate weddings too. 

If you have strong opinions in your “desperate situation,” be sure to voice them. Nothing is more offensive than someone with a problem being opinionated and arrogant at the same time while asking for help. Seriously. What the? You need help. You hired the wrong vendor. You have an opinion about our other clients because you were on our site? Find someone else buddy. Enjoy your weekend while you are at it. I know we will with amazing clients who came to us to make THEIR DREAM EVENT A REALITY by hiring Texas Twins Events or The Pawning Planners or TDCJ Officiant. 

“Officiants are a dime a dozen. My neighbor said she could do it. I think your fee is too high.” Hmm, does your neighbor have any experience speaking in public? Has your neighbor ever signed a marriage license? Fourteen years ago, my Officiant was $450. Fourteen years ago. No rehearsal either. $450 to perform a wedding ceremony. 

Ten years ago, my son’s Officiant was $650 for a rehearsal and wedding ceremony. Do us both a favor and go hire your neighbor. Our fees are SO FAR below industry standards that we have people begging us to book. 

Don’t try that “I’m going to hire my neighbor” crap with me Pal. Go hire her. Hope she bothers to file your license and sign it properly because when she doesn’t, don’t call me for advice. You took a risk. Own your own mistake and arrogance. 

“I’m not paying you to travel. I just need you for an hour to officiate the ceremony.” Yes dear, you ARE paying me to travel. If you want to book me, my location is Fort Worth, Texas. Unless of course, you’d like to send a car and driver to transport me to your location. In such a case, I prefer Kevin at Agency Limousine and the booking will be at your expense to and from Fort Worth, Texas. 

“I can go to the JP for $100.” Great! Why are you calling me? Your marriage license isn’t included in that fee either. Have a great wedding. 

“So and so said they could perform the same service for $50 less than you.” That’s awesome! Why are you contacting me? Go book them instead. I’m wasting my valuable time listening to you. Move on. 

“I called or emailed you at 10PM and you didn’t respond until the following day. When I contact you, I want an immediate response.” First, you aren’t paying me to answer you 24/7. I go to bed at 10PM and I’m up at 6AM. If you are that demanding, you cannot afford me. I mean it. So long Diva. 

“I want to book you to marry me at ___ Unit. I need you to pick me up in Houston and drive me to the Unit then drive me home.” Okay, what part of the fee to marry you at ___ Unit INCLUDED TRANSPORTATION? It didn’t. My fee was to arrive at ___ Unit, conduct your ceremony, sign your license, buy 3 Unit photos and provide you bridal or groom photos printed and mailed to you at my expense. 

I do not offer transportation to and from Units. I do know someone who offers a transportation service but can assure you that it isn’t a free service. Read your contract. 

My contracts are incredibly descriptive down to each and every component I’m providing. There aren’t any add ons to my contracts. If you’d like to change the terms, I’m happy to write a new contract with a new fee. 

“I thought you had a Team. I need someone to serve food and at least two people to set up and tear down on site.” I do have a Team and they aren’t volunteers. Read your contract! 

If you hired an Officiant or planner, you DIDN’T hire a team. You hired me or someone else to officiate your ceremony. If you hired me as a planner, you gained my twin sister as we work as a team. Officiants and Planners aren’t caterers or laborers. Read your contract. I can provide additional staff AT YOUR EXPENSE. 

I’m hoping this clarifies what it takes to be a client and more importantly why asking me for an apple and expecting a pie isn’t going to happen today, tomorrow or forever. 

No one cares about your Life Event more than my team and I do. Our clients are family. Our clients entrusted us to make their Dream Event a reality. Our clients found us from happy clients who sent them to us. Our clients were referred to us. We didn’t market, advertise or solicit clients. We never have. 

Our brand and business is built on exceeding client expectations. If you aren’t a client, don’t expect us to solve all of your problems for you. Our time is valuable and our time is spent solely on the people who are worthy of our time…