The Wedding That Might Become A “Single Celebration” And Other Plot Twists Of Unpredictable People…

The number of times in my mind I’ve thought “wow” would surprise people but, when you deal with as many folks as I do, you’ve seen it all or you’ve heard it all. 

This mornings email (following up on last nights text message) regarding a bride wanting to go through with a wedding solely to read text messages describing her partners escapades was shocking to say the least. 

Why would anyone “want to stand at the altar and embarrass the other person with sext messages” in front of their friends and family? To get even. 

A wedding isn’t the place to ostracize the other party. Such occurrences might happen on a scripted television show but rarely happen in real life. Why? Because there’s a voice of reason around here somewhere. In this case, (as usual) the voice came from me. 

Just because you have already paid for a wedding doesn’t entitle you to sacrifice your partner in front of all of your guests. Take the high road. You’ve already paid for everything so you should announce or have someone announce for you “the wedding has been cancelled but, enjoy the party.” 

After all, everyone is already either planning to attend or already in attendance. Why go through the motions of having your father escort you down the aisle and give you away just so you can grandstand your shocked parents as well as the grooms parents by reading sex texts you’ve sent to yourself? What if your grandparents couldn’t handle the shock? Or your parents? Or his parents? 

Think about what you “thought was a good idea to embarrass and humiliate your unfaithful partner and the actual impact of your actions.” A wedding isn’t the place to “roast” anyone. 

Let’s go back to my runaway groom a few years ago. I know that I’m never going to forget waiting hours on him before getting lit enough to go find him and drag him to the venue myself. Even I have limits ya all! 

At that particular event, my team had spent hours on hair and makeup for the bride and I’d even driven her to the venue myself. Her “family” were apparently too busy to do anything else other than bothering to show up. The grooms family were on location arguing with the brides family. It was a mess. 

The bride continued to try and call the groom who wouldn’t answer. The grooms mother was overheard mentioning the bar the groom was at by one of my team members. I was getting more and more angry about the amount of time spent on a wedding with no groom. I drove to the bar. I found the groom and demanded to know “why aren’t you at the venue? My team have been working since early this morning and you can’t even bother to show up at your own wedding? Are you crazy? Get outside. Get in your car and get over to the venue or I’m going to drive you myself.” 

The groom had been told to “go get drunk” by a few of the groomsmen. Luckily, he wasn’t drunk. I won’t marry anyone who is intoxicated. 

A text message last night from my Holliday Unit bride regarding the “ten cent check” came in while I was still texting reasons for my Saturday bride not to follow through with this idea to upstage the groom. 

Meanwhile, my Crain Unit groom was texting that Harris County refused to issue his marriage license with a Coryell County Absentee Affidavit. 

No one and I mean no one has any real idea of the extent of chaos I deal with on a daily basis. Even Cindy who is home at night doesn’t know how frequently one of my clients emails, calls or texts me 24/7. My husband does because we can’t even get through dinner without someone contacting me. 

It was past 10PM and I had not one but three clients with chaos. In my mind, I thought of “pigpen” from the Peanuts with a whirlwind of dirt and debris following him everywhere. What the? Why can’t I catch a break around here? 

Let’s go back to the runaway groom for just a moment. Yes, he was married. Yes, they are still married and yes, his friends were dipshits with a dumb idea that he was dumb enough to entertain that day. 

Now, let’s go over the “the cent check.” The check isn’t mailed. It goes out and comes back to the Unit on a chain. The timeline is anyone’s guess. There isn’t a timeline. What’s required here is patience. You cannot get married without a marriage license. You cannot get a marriage license without an Absentee Affidavit and ID from the inmate. 

If I had a nickel for each and every time I’ve told a client to “calm down,” I’d be rich by now. Speaking of that, yet another email from someone wanting to “make a lucrative income from becoming a wedding planner” had me spitting out my coffee this morning. What the? Listen up folks who think that they can get rich quick in the wedding business because reality bites. No one working as an event planner is getting rich unless of course they happen to be a celebrity planner. 

This is a highly competitive market. What makes your skill set different from your competitors? Can you afford to quit your day job? Do you have any experience? Why do you assume that contacting someone successful in this business and effectively a competitor and asking them to train you is a normal request? 

Listen up Pal, I’m busy. I’m busy addressing my clients, their chaos and their need to have me address their problems. I don’t have the time or the desire to train anyone and quite frankly, the majority of people contacting me to tell them how I Cindy and I became successful in this business can buy our book. It’s a wild ride. Chock full of surprises including merging Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create The Pawning Planners and a barter option then later, rebranding and expanding AGAIN to offer inmate Officiant and planning services. 

Neither I or my twin sister “went into this business to get rich.” We went into this business to help people. True story. 

Will my client decide to take my advice? Hell who knows. Am I looking forward to another drama filled weekend of chaos? Not really but it’s my job. My job is to go from surprising day right into the next. I’m never bored. 

Walking into location is walking in blind. I have no idea of what’s going to happen at an event. Cindy doesn’t either. Will the couple change their minds? Will there be crying? Will there be chaos? Maybe. Eye rolls aside, the event business is an everyday learning experience. No one knows what’s going to happen. Is someone going to get drunk and belligerent? Is someone going to attempt to object? Is an old boyfriend or girlfriend going to show up? Is the mother of the bride or groom going to make this wedding about themselves? Is the wedding dress going to fit? Is the bride going to lose one of her contacts? A drunk brother trying to ruin his sisters wedding with my twin whispering “hey, who invited THAT GUY?!” 

Are you up for the task of playing a referee, a mother, a best friend, a bridesmaid or whatever it takes for YOUR CLIENT? If you aren’t, the events industry isn’t the place for you. 

There isn’t a script for actual reality. The reality is that walking into any event, I take a deep breath and get ready for the unknown. The unexpected. Where’s my bride? A call to her finds her eating chips and drinking margaritas rethinking her decision to marry? Where’s my groom? At a bar trying to get drunk. I cannot make this shit up. 

The life of a wedding planner and Officiant or one or the other is the wildest, chaos filled ride you can imagine. Sure, the folks working retail can relate though because they see it all too. When you work with the general public, there is a literal melting pot of crazy going on out there. The difference is that when you work retail, you’ve got a manager and coworkers to control the crazy. 

While I have Cindy as my support on site as well as my Team, problems are dumped in my lap not anyone else’s. I’m the fixer. It’s a helluva job. My vocabulary doesn’t contain “I don’t know or I can’t.” 

One of my brides has even had me drive her to the clerks office to purchase her marriage license because “she’s afraid to drive downtown.” 

My job description is so varied that I doubt adequately describing it on paper is even possible. Cleaning up vomit on the dance floor. Getting the groom out of the patio lighting. Covering up a drunk guest with a dress over her face and no panties? Yes. My role and responsibility cannot be simplified because there isn’t anything simple about a day in my life. It’s a juggling act of something new being thrown at me with existing plates already flying midair. 

“What you do looks easy. You and Cindy go from one fun filled day to the next and I want to do what you do.” Hmm, sorry kid but you don’t have the stamina. You also have no idea of what we do or the number of hours spent getting the job done. 

Life Events are meant to happen once. If you’ve been hired as a planner, “I don’t know or I can’t” had better not come out of your mouth. You are the go to. You are in charge and you had better find solutions. If you don’t, you won’t last in this industry.

On a daily basis, I walk into or hear another surprise. People are unpredictable. On a daily basis, I’m the fixer. 

Are you prepared to answer 68 emails from ONE PERSON who hasn’t returned your contract or paid a deposit either? The number of emails, texts and phone calls leading up to an event from just one client would shock you. I juggle up to 15 and occasionally even 20 CLIENTS PER MONTH. 

While juggling my existing clients, I’m also addressing new bookings and inquiries. Can you do it? Do you realize that there aren’t any sick days in this business? Are you able to control the crazy while handling the stress? 

Eventing is a people business. People want answers. Your job is to answer them while treating every client like they are your only client. This role requires dedication. You don’t clock out. You stay clocked in. 

Answering people is my job. I talk, text and email people at least 16 hours each and every day. Let’s think about that for a minute. If I got paid for each and every time I answered someone, I would be rich by now. It’s a fact. Not all people contacting me are booked clients. 

Not all people contacting me are current clients. On a regular basis, a former client will contact me to either rebook a service or request information that they don’t know how to find. In the role of the “fixer” I have the answers. 

I’ve never said “I don’t know or I can’t” because if I don’t know, I educate myself. If I’m already booked on a date someone wants to book, I answer with this statement “that date won’t work but here’s one that will.” 
The event business is a circus. The circus can go from town to town or state to state if you book destination events and I do. It’s a traveling caravan of chaos. It’s walking in cold. It’s fixing problems and offering solutions. It’s not for the faint hearted or the folks who aren’t “all in.” 

A good sense of humor is required in this role. You’re going to need it because just when you expect to have a flawless execution on site, you are going to get sucker punched with a surprise. You won’t see it coming but I can assure you that’s it’s there somewhere with an Inlaw or Outlaw on site waiting for that “drop the Mike moment.” Your job is to pick up that Mike and move on…