People, Prisons, Places & Loving An Addict…

For many years my twin sister and I hid the fact that her daughter was an addict. We felt ashamed, helpless and had no idea of how to fix something that was far beyond our control.

Cindy obtained custody of her twin granddaughters, Maryssa and Makenna within a month of bringing them home from NICU. We split the cost between each other to hire an attorney.

You see my twin wanted to protect those twins from being Wendy and Cindy. Our mother, Sharon was an addict and sold all 4 of her children for $50 each in Lompoc, CA in May 1971.

Unless you’re a child of an addict or have raised a child who becomes an addict, you will never and I mean ever know the helpless feeling of watching someone destroy themselves.

I know many people who love an addict who became an inmate. Why? Because 40-45% of inmates incarcerated within the United States are there on drug charges.

This unique circumstance literally torments victims of addicts even further financially. Why? Because loving an inmate much like loving an addict is very expensive that’s why.

Visiting a prison is similar to visiting a psych ward in that you are quite literally shaken into the facility, must be on the list and don’t forget the quarters. Vending machines are a focal point at both prisons and psych wards.

How would I know? Because Steph has been involuntarily committed over and over at a psych ward and also an inmate that’s how. EXPERIENCE MATTERS.

For many years it was easy to hide the fact my twin sisters daughter was an addict until we couldn’t anymore.

Sure Cindy was one of the oldest parents at the elementary school BUT there were also 2 other sets of grandparents raising their grandchildren too.

2.5 million grandparents carried the primary responsibility of caring for their grandchildren and meeting their basic needs, representing nearly 35% of grandparents who reside with a grandchild.

You see millions of parents of addicts are in fact raising their addicted children’s children. Millions.

Cindy and I were often asked “where’s Steph” on social media posts because Steph was never here other than brief stints of sobriety so we have very few photos of her and thousands of other family members. You see Wendy and Cindy have only a handful of photos of us as children and all but one with our baby brother are depressing. Children miserable no smiling faces.

Cindy and I as well as our baby brother were determined to be the parents and grandparents we never had and honored that commitment.

For us the children came first always. For Cindy saving the twins from the fate that sale in May 1971 became her priority.

In 2014 an incident in Cotton County became so publicized that there was no longer any way to hide the fact that we loved an addict anymore. Steph and a companion stole a semi in Burk Burnett TX and took it across state lines to Oklahoma. This was a very serious charge.

I drove to Cotton County and met with the DA because I knew Steph couldn’t drive a semi. How could both of them have the same charges? How did they meet? Who was this man? Cindy was in my passenger seat crying the entire time.

After 9 months in Cotton County Jail which at that time charged about $42 a day to hold an inmate (pay to stay incarceration) the DA was finally ready to cut a deal. I begged for 5 years of hair follicles but he only gave 3.5 of mandatory drug testing on a 5 year probation with thousands of restitution for being an inmate in Oklahoma added onto the plea deal along with 6 months of rehab in Oklahoma which I paid for and after picking Steph up from Cotton County drove her to myself.

Cindy and I had once again replaced clothing, toiletries, etc for the trip to mandatory court ordered rehab.

The apt that Cindy had found and rented to get her daughter off the streets in 2013 prior to the “semi incident” was put in Steph’s name by Cindy paying 3 months in advance then Cindy had paid for everything to furnish the apt.

People who love an addict make mistakes. They harbor hope. But in 2007, Cindy had co-signed a new Mitsubishi eclipse for Steph that she refused to make payments on until totaling outside of Tyler. Cindy was thankful it was totaled so she could finally stop making payments on the vehicle which posed further financial hardship on her raising the twins without benefit of child support from either parent which was WHY she refused to co-sign on the apt in 2013-2014.

Cindy notified the apt and to keep from renting a truck to move all the furnishings that were trashed, gave everything away by putting photos on FB for what could be salvaged left in the apt.

There was an argument about Steph wanting AND expecting Cindy to pay the rent on the apt while she was in Cotton County Jail but after 6 months of begging Steph to get a job and pay the rent herself imposing further financial stress on Cindy raising the twins, my sister absolutely refused to do so and who could blame her?

I picked up Steph from rehab in Oklahoma and Cindy allowed her to move home because she was sober. For 3.5 years Steph stayed off meth because of the hair follicles on her probation but she was planning a relapse. On the day after hair follicles were removed, Steph went on a years long rampage of a relapse that resulted in rehab after rehab psych ward after psych ward between halfway houses and jail.

You will hear people say “it’s hell to love an addict” but unless you’ve done it you will never understand the trauma, financial devastation or toll to your health. We do we’ve lived this shit for 20 years with Steph.

Last summer after Steph coming to my patio and saying she wanted help months prior, I drove her to Volunteers of America which offered free rehab. She was there for 5 months then transitioned to an Oxford House. The twins were speaking to her again and she could finally qualify to rent her own apt. My friend Tammi donated a few pieces of furniture and TVs and I paid to furnish everything else that Steph wanted or needed.

Wendy and Cindy were finally yet again hopeful. But you can’t change an addict. Within a month of having everything she ever wanted, Steph relapsed and went homeless for months. By December she showed up on my patio battered then ran off it took me 6 days to find her and take her to a hospital. During that 6 day window I had 13 weddings.

You read that right THIRTEEN WEDDINGS! During the day I looked normal while working and at night I was searching the streets for my niece. You will never have any idea how stressful this is UNLESS you’ve done it!

My niece has been an addict 20 years now. The twins just turned 20 years old this month. My twin sister gave up her job to raise her grandchildren. Neither of the twins parents ever paid child support until the father made 2 payments then realizing his wages were being garnished, quit his job.

There is no line between my work and my family. There never has been because you see I can’t clock in and clock out in my line of work. Instead I take calls from the time I wake to the time I go to sleep. Thus I’ve had more than a few crazy phone calls while I was on location WITH my CLIENTS.

Too many people want to silence the voices of people who love an addict and put addicts on a pedestal while condemning their families with idiotic statements like “there must’ve been trauma” or “it’s a genetic disease” or “it’s mental illness.”

What it is someone self destructive who doesn’t care what they are doing to their families. Period.

People who love an addict are drug through raw torturous hell BECAUSE they love an addict while addicts could care less what their actions are doing to their children, their parents, their siblings etc.

About 2.5 years ago after a number of my clients marrying an inmate had asked, I joined Tik Tok. I had no real idea what I was doing but my first account first video was being frustrated about Gordon Funeral Home consistently getting the name wrong on the authorization for my father’s funeral.

Yes the person who nevercared what happened to his own twin daughters had passed while I was on my way to TDCJ Terrell Unit and although o offered to pay Gordon after taking my clients and her twin daughters to lunch, they wouldn’t let me and instead went to pick up the body.

The following day while I was in Abilene with my clients from TDCJ Robertson Unit, Gordon Funeral Home called and had inflated the price. They had the body they had control. I was irritated but Cindy and I paid it. Closure is never inexpensive.

For several days following that Gordon kept sending an affidavit with my name incorrect that no one would authorize. This was driving my brother crazy and I was infuriated. I gave them my credit card. They knew what my name was.

So there I was outside of Tarrant County Jail when I posted my very first video on wendymwortham a channel that I was locked out of after family members consistently flagged my videos. Videos that were a mix of work, family and loving an addict.

My second account wendymariewortham went up after I learned how to appeal flagged videos and for the first time in my life a mother of an addict came at Cindy and I for being honest documenting our journey when she was doing the same thing. The difference? Brandi was getting paid.

Wendy and Cindy have never had paid social media accounts. I work for my money and Cindy flips estate jewelry. Her husband is a truck driver and my husband is a semi retired builder and developer.

It would be about the time this mother of an addict criticized us for being honest about our side of not only being children of an addict but also Cindy overcoming her own addiction to pain pills following a near fatal car accident in the 90’s then dealing with Stephs addiction for all of these years that while Steph was homeless again following our fathers death, we went to clean out the storage my twin had been paying for going on 12 or 13 years at the time to cease the expense where we found the tape of Sharon selling us on my original Tik Tok account.

You cannot make up in a million years the shock of finding a tape we thought had been destroyed being passed down in this family and the damn thing still worked! We had to order a cassette player from Amazon but yes after all these years it still worked.

People don’t understand how I can compartmentalize but I learned it after the trauma we survived as children. Cindy can remember sights, smells, sounds, pain. I put it away but occasionally a trigger will bring PTSD back.

People can go to work, take care of their families, run a business and love an addict. Millions of people do. Wendy went to work these past 20 years while Cindy went with me when she could and brought the twins.

Cindy dedicated 20 years to being the caregiver to her twin granddaughters they deserved.

I’ve never hid any aspect of my life and wonder why people think, feel or believe they should but we live in a FB world where even young people photoshop their pictures and reality, transparency and candor make a few folks uncomfortable.

Thats on them not on me. All of my life I’ve been honest. My clients are aware of this and expect nothing less from me. The truth matters…