Finances, Fickle Feelings, & Fed Up With 2020? It’s nearly over…

This has been one of the most trying years I can recall. What started out as a good year turned into a year of resilience and determination for many of us that no one could have anticipated or expected. Parents became teachers to kids sent home from school. Spenders became savers not knowing what the future held. Alarmists became fear mongers and mask shaming became popular.

For many who challenged wearing a mask as being about compliance rather than safety, one father posted to friends only rather than publicly “I believe my arguments about masks are why my family became sick with Covid. I blame myself.” I don’t think that taking on the burden of his families illness and struggle was entirely his fault and he shouldn’t either.

Fate has a hand in all of our lives. No one chooses to lose their job. No one chooses to be involved in a car accident. No one chooses cancer. Many people chose not to wear a mask. Whether their decision played a role is pure speculation.

Guilt is manipulation. Guilt is often used in media and even in families as a tool. I was raised with guilt. My grandmother was the guilt trip Queen in her later years after a life spent being a narcissist had left her care in the hands of my sister because her own children wouldn’t take her in. My father and aunt literally dumped our grandma on Cindy.

Cindy was guilt tripped into moving our grandmother into her home for about 18 years after the death of our grandfather. Cindy was already raising Leigh Ann and Stephaney as a single parent at the time. The last thing she needed was another mouth to feed under her roof.

But selfish people don’t care about the burdens they force onto others. They never will it’s all for them and to hell with you. If they can unload their problems on you they will.

I was married when the “hot potatoes” issue of “what to do with grandma” came up. Even if I hadn’t been married I would have taken a hard pass on taking grandma in. I always had an easier time saying no to our demanding family than Cindy. She’s the soft touch. The easy button. My sister has often been taken advantage of because she doesn’t like to say no. I say no all the time. I have boundaries.

Cindy finally kicked grandma out of her home and moved her into an apartment in the midst of a hail storm.

After nearly 18 years of being pushed around in her own home even soft hearted Cindy had endured enough to hit her limit.

What happened to snap my sister out of trying to solve the problem of “what to do with grandma?”

One day an insurance man came to Cindy’s house and asked “what’s your granddaughters name? We will need it to put her as your beneficiary.”

My grandma (without skipping a beat) said “I’m not making her a beneficiary. I’m getting this policy for my son and daughter.” That was it. The dealbreaker.

Cindy had never charged grandma rent. She didn’t expect her to pay for groceries either. Cindy hadn’t benefitted from her sacrifices and never would benefit and she finally realized it that day in her dining room.

No one plans to move a grandparent into their home unless of course that grandma raised them or in some way contributed to their well being as a child.

I often wonder if Cindy had been married if “the plan” to dump grandma on Cindy in California would have worked? Most likely a husband would have intervened. Cindy was single and finding her own voice would take years. I found mine at a young age. I have always been my sisters protector but even I couldn’t stop the consistent demands my family put on Cindy.

In 1989, my sister was living in Temecula in an apartment she had saved up to move into while she was living with me in San Clemente in 1988-89.

By the time I moved from San Clemente to Temecula, Cindy and her daughters had moved into an apartment about five miles from me. I took the girls to school while Cindy went to work. She was happy. Independent. Finally.

But our family would change for Cindy. Our father was living in a three bedroom house in San Diego. He didn’t want to move his mother into his home so he decided to move grandma into Cindy’s apartment while she was at work. Neither I or Cindy were aware that my father and his sister were moving grandma from TX to CA. That was part of their sneaky plan.

The apartment manager let them in. Everything in the master bedroom was moved to Leigh Ann and Stephaney’s room by my dad and grandma. My sister came home to all of her possessions thrown on the floor and strewn through the hallway. Welcome home.

Cindy was forced to sleep on the floor because unlike me, my sister felt helplessly obligated to our family. Cindy just couldn’t say no. The trials and tribulations my sister has suffered are many. Our family never helped her. Ever. I have always taken care of my sister and her children. My anger comes from experience with our family.

Not once has anyone in our family stepped up and tried to lend a hand to us. We left home at 15 and have relied solely on each other since then. I never have felt obligated to our “family.” I never will.

Our “family” wasn’t ever there for us as children or teens. I’m not there for them as an adult.

My siblings, son, grandson, nieces, Grandnieces and husband as well as my brother in law are my priorities. Next in line with are my clients. My clients are the family I wasn’t born with.

What happened to Cindy in Temecula should never have happened. A UHaul and “preplanned idea” to move grandma in on Cindy without notice or warning was specifically to shift the burden of our father and aunts mother onto Cindy’s back.

By the time I moved back to Texas, Cindy had decided to follow me with grandma and her daughters. We’ve followed each other moving back and forth from TX to CA four times. Wherever I go, Cindy goes and vice versa.

Cindy rented a two bedroom apartment after living with me to save up money in Fort Worth.

The moving truck from CA to TX with Cindy’s apartment possessions was “rolled into a loan taken” taken out by our grandmother that she also rolled a trailer into.

The trailer was moved to our aunts property. Grandma lived there while Cindy and her daughters lived with me in Fort Worth.

By the time Cindy had saved up enough money to move out, she went to move all of the items that had been moved from CA to TX that were inside the 2 bedroom trailer in Gordon into her new Fort Worth apartment.

Our aunt told Cindy “you aren’t taking anything out of that trailer. It’s on my land.”

A trailer Cindy was paying for containing the furniture and household items she bought in California was now not her property because it was on our aunts property? It’s still sitting there all of these years later rotting.

My sister now had to was effectively forced into replacing all of the household items she had bought in California to furnish her new apartment in Texas WHILE paying a $6k note on the moving truck, trailer and car note.

Cindy needed a car so grandma (who never did anything unless it benefitted herself) chose rather than to take out a $2k loan to take out a $6k loan and dump it all on Cindy.

It took Cindy 2 years to pay off the loan that should’ve been $2k for Cindy’s car that our conniving grandmother rolled the trailer and moving truck into.

Cindy was working as hard as she could to pay rent and replace household items she couldn’t get out of the trailer while back in Fort Worth. Together Cindy and I finally furnished her 2 bedroom apartment and as usual with no help from our “family.”

Our “family” is the most manipulative and calculating bunch of parasites I have ever encountered. I’m not kidding.

When I say “Cindy and I are the people and parents we have never had or met” I’m being damn serious.

Life was hard on Cindy with grandma AND our selfish “family.”

Endless drives to grandmas doctor visits between dropping her kids at school and picking them up while juggling all of our grandmas needs or wants for all of the years. Our “family” sat on the sidelines while Cindy was saddled with more and more responsibility. Taking care of our fathers mother was never Cindy’s responsibility.

In 1994 Cindy was in a car accident that resulted in a hospital bed being moved into the living room of her apartment. I took my nieces to school and ran errands for grandma.

After Cindy’s back surgery she was forced to learn to walk again.

It was at Billy Bob’s while taking dance classes for coordination that Cindy met Steve.

Grandma seeing the possibility of her meal ticket (my sister) flying out the window did everything she could to run Steve off. I did everything I could to prevent that from happening.

Steve like Cindy accepted that grandma would live with them. What choice did he have?

Grandma had our grandfathers SS and Civil Service income. She wasn’t broke. She was a shopaholic who didn’t pay rent.

When Cindy and Steve married they moved to a 3 bedroom apartment from the 2 bedroom apartment.

Cindy after all those years was still sharing a room with her daughters while grandma took the master bedroom when Steve came along. That would change when they moved. I changed it. Steve is a soft touch too. He’s a truck driver and rarely home but he took on raising Cindy’s daughters as if they were his own as well as supporting grandma without question. He deserved that master bedroom and I demanded my grandmother move to a guest room where she belonged.

The ongoing arguments about the master bedroom after moving to the 3 bedroom apartment continued for years. My grandma complained constantly and wouldn’t allow Cindy’s daughters to use the hall bathroom. The girls were forced to share the master bathroom with Cindy and Steve.

When Cindy and Steve moved to their new home in Weatherford, the master bedroom argument came up again. Cindy held firm. Our demanding grandmother took 2 bedrooms to account for the loss of space she had. Two bedrooms? I was lit about that too. Still Leigh Ann and Stephaney “weren’t allowed to use the hall bathroom” that had (yet again) been taken over by grandma. Guests were also to use the master bathroom. No one was allowed to use the hall bathroom. I found this to be stupid as well as inconvenient and used the hall bathroom all of the time. I encouraged Cindy to speak up but she hated arguing. Grandma was constantly complaining about something at Cindy’s. She controlled the house by complaining.

“Appreciation is the difference between gratitude and a sense of entitlement.” Cindy Daniel

The argument over grandma being moved to a guest room raged on until Cindy finally called our dad and aunt after that insurance policy meeting at her home and told them both “either you come get her or I’m bringing her to you. She ain’t my luggage and she’s not my trip. I don’t owe her a home. She isn’t my mother. Come get her I’ve had it.”

No one else wanted our grandmother. No one else wanted the responsibility. Neither her son or daughter volunteered to take her in.

Cindy found an apartment for grandma on her own and FINALLY ended the responsibility that was never hers to begin with. It took nearly 18 years for Cindy to do so. The same amount of time most parents spend raising their children.

Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney was pregnant with twins at the time of “the big move.”

This unexpected pregnancy coupled with Grandma taking out an insurance policy for her children were why Cindy hit the limit.

Grandma didn’t want Cindy’s attention diverted from her to the grand babies Cindy was expecting and has been raising for 16 years. Grandma was no longer Cindy’s responsibility. Cindy’s focus was shifted by her daughters pregnancy and the insurance policy was simply the icing on the cake.

“How can you take care of me if you are going to be taking care of twin babies? Give them up for adoption or something. I need you to take care of me.” Too much was never enough for our grandmother. But the birth of Maryssa and Makenna brought Cindy joy in her own home rather than stress after giving grandma the boot. The moral of the story with Cindy is that no one expected my sister to finally stand up and say no. They underestimated her. A few years after giving grandma the boot, our father attempted to wrangle his way into Cindy’s home. Cindy said “absolutely not” and meant it.

Over the years there have been friends of Leigh Ann and Stephaney who have stayed with Cindy. A few months ago, our nephew called to say he wanted to move in. Cindy’s answer “absolutely not.” Cindy will never move anyone into her home again. Why? It’s too damn hard to move them out.

A few years ago, my groom advised me at a client meeting “His mom was getting older and the possibility of having to care for her was something they were considering when house hunting.” This was apparently “news” to his fiancée. The look on her face said it all. The wedding was called off about two weeks later. The bride “wasn’t signing up to be a caregiver to her mother in law.”

Grandma’s death and the years spent being dedicated to her care changed Cindy from being a sucker for our family. She learned that her priority was to her husband and children. She doesn’t owe our family anything. Neither of us do. Steve is a saint. How he put up with grandma all of those years is anyone’s guess. My husband would have never allowed grandma to move into our home.

Prioritize your priorities. Your spouse should be your best friend. Your kids will (one day) grow up and move away to start families of their own.

Don’t allow your parents, children or other relatives to interfere with your marriage or try to move in and expect you to care for them.

From boomerang kids to aging parents to a down on their luck relative or even raising another relatives children, many couples are facing situations that they could have never expected or anticipated.

Eddie’s mother was dedicated to him. She was also accepting of Britney. She was a sweet lady who deserved better. How many mothers would accept their sons wife becoming pregnant with another man’s child and not say a word about it? Eddie’s mom never did. For her another grandchild regardless of who the father was brought joy and love into her life. Eddie’s mom was a giver unlike our grandmother who was a taker. She deserved better.

When counseling couples, I often ask them about plans for children in the future and the possibility of either of their parents moving in. Why? Because this reality is affecting many people and for the couples who don’t get along with their mother or father in law, moving them in can very well be a dealbreaker.

People lost in love and the glamour of weddings keep missing the boat on the reality that marriage is a merger. They don’t look at the entire picture or fully comprehend “in sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer.”

Couples don’t fully grasp the reality of the future not being exactly what they had planned. They should though.

Divorce after children is far more traumatic to the children and the parents than a divorce without children.

Divorced parents bounce children from one home to the other on weekends and holidays. Often during the holidays one parent is odd years while the other parent is even years.

My son was one of those “even or odd year” children. My divorce was inevitable due to violence in our home. To further issues, my mother in law was a conniving and manipulative person who complained about my weight, my clothing, my cooking, my house decorating and even my abilities as a wife and mother constantly.

According to her, I couldn’t do anything right.

If I would’ve suffered through that marriage to the point of her being too old to care for herself, her oldest child, my ex-husband would have (most likely) opted to move her into our home. That would have been a dealbreaker in and of itself.

If you are planning to marry someone and cannot fathom the idea of their parent possibly moving in with you, wake up. It’s a reality for many couples who never planned on raising their children and in later years, caring for their parent or parents or their spouses parent or parents.

Britney is married to someone much older than her, Eddie. About a year and a half ago, Eddie was hospitalized with heart problems. Eddie was about to learn that HE and his health weren’t a priority to his wife. Britney was too busy to visit. She also told me “I don’t want to take care of a sick old man. I married Eddie to take care of me.” I was shocked and taken back by this selfish statement. Eddie had a lot of time to think about his future from that hospital bed. Laying alone and facing your mortality in a hospital is an eye opener for anyone.

Britney and Eddie’s relationship changed after his hospitalization. But another unexpected event was about occur that neither of them planned on.

Last year, Eddie (an only child) realized his mother (a widow) could no longer care for herself and suggested to Britney that they move her into their home. Britney threatened divorce. Britney is young and selfish.

Britney would never be able to support three children and fails to recognize her own limitations when she pulled out the “D card.”

Once a spouse threatens divorce there aren’t any real take backs. The threat has been made. It’s out there. It’s hanging in the air. Threatening a divorce is similar to pointing a gun. How so? You just drew a weapon on your partner. How your partner responds or reacts to the threat is in their hands not yours.

Britney was also unaware (but would learn) just how of expensive it is to move an elderly person into a nursing home.

Eddie’s mother died a few months ago in the nursing home. Eddie blames Britney for not moving his mother into their home.

It’s Eddie’s first Thanksgiving and Christmas without his mother and depression has hit him hard. Britney doesn’t understand Eddie’s sorrow. Young people rarely do as they are often narcissistic. Focused on themselves, narcissistic people cannot find empathy for others even if the other person is their spouse.

I often say “love is sacrifice” because it is. If you love someone you will often make sacrifices for them based on love. Even love has limits though.

One of my client’s recently “caught a charge” for her husband because her husband told her to. “I will go back to prison. You will probably get probation. Do you want me to go to prison? If you love me you will do this for me.” What a rat scoundrel.

Her husband is a former convict and she had never been in trouble in her entire life. I was angered to hear about this after the fact as I would have advised her to not only say no but also to divorce anyone expecting her to give up her life, future and freedom to protect someone who had no thought or remorse for what they had asked her to do. My client forever changed her life for someone who thought nothing of what he was asking her to do. Hence my reference rat scoundrel.

“If you love me, you will do this or that for me.” Turn it around. “If you love me you wouldn’t ask me to do that for you.”

There are many women in prison who caught a charge for someone they thought loved them who asked them to do so.

Tragically, these women are often “rope a doped” into doing something for someone who was never worthy of them. They are sitting in prisons across America suffering alone and separated from their children because they took the fall for a person they thought loved them.

My client is facing 5-10 years in prison because she loved someone enough to throw her life away for her him. She too will be separated from her daughter and her parents because she listened to her husband. I’m furious about this.

Meanwhile… Britney is facing losing her husband from her choices. I’ve had the discussion over and over again with Britney regarding raising three children as a single parent. Only one of those children is Eddie’s. Britney is young and dumb.

With age comes wisdom. Britney is too young to be wise. Experience is a great teacher.

During a separation from Eddie, Britney became pregnant with another man’s child. Eddie accepted this child and has raised her as his own. Britney was unwilling to make the same sacrifice for Eddie’s mother.

My own family is still at odds with Cindy and I over helping Stephaney again. I’ve found her a good job (again) and she starts today in a position that will earn her enough money to support herself if she doesn’t screw up yet another opportunity.

My son and my other niece are angry about the help Cindy and I have given Stephaney over and over again. Cindy and I are angry about listening to their rants about our help while sitting on the sidelines.

It’s easy to pass judgment on others when you don’t have any skin in the game.

It’s always “all talk and no action” for the folks telling you what they would do when the truth is that they have never been in your position or situation. How convenient FOR THEM.

Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice.

Cindy and I are finally speaking up about taking criticism from our family members who choose to be angry that we are trying to get Stephaney stable. I’ve put my foot down about it. Cindy has too. We’ve been beaten up for years by family members each and every time we’ve pulled Steph out of the gutter.

Nearly 17 years of trying to save Stephaney has been one sacrifice after the next for Wendy and Cindy. The losses we’ve suffered emotionally and financially trying to save her daughter from bad choices will forever haunt us both.

Cindy and I are weary and battle worn but will no longer be victimized by our own family members for trying to help a family member. These family members have plenty to say and nothing to contribute other than animosity.

“I would appreciate your advice if I could overlook your lack of experience.” Cindy Daniel.

My husband had made a rule that Stephaney was no longer welcome at our home after a relapse two years ago. He watched her on camera acting crazy and viewing the video surveillance upset him so much that the new “no Stephaney in our home rule” was invoked.

After an argument with my son “because I had my niece in my vehicle and he had told me he doesn’t want to see her” a few days ago when I went to meet him and pay for tires on his wife’s car, my husband was the first to bury the hatchet and welcome Stephaney back into our home for the holidays. “If she can remain stable, employed and a responsible human being, I will allow her here. But, if she cant, she will forever be banned from this house.”

This “change” at WorthamWorld allowing Stephaney back into our home will cause problems for my son who yelled at me, Cindy and Stephaney that “he’s told us he doesn’t want to be around Stephaney.”

My son and Stephaney’s sister, Leigh Ann liked Stephaney being banned. Their lack of empathy for Stephaney consistently concerns me as well as CINDY.

The confrontation at Discount Tires hurt and upset my sister who had heart issues as well as myself and my niece who hasn’t ever done anything to my son.

Stephaney’s self destructive behavior has caused many emotional and financial setbacks to Cindy and I but certainly hasn’t affected anyone else in our family financially or emotionally.

I’m surprised and saddened that while spending hundreds of dollars on tires for my daughter in laws Jeep two weeks after spending hundreds of dollars on my sons truck for tires that I was being screamed at by my son because sge was with me while I was (as usual) doing something to benefit him.

Two days later, I haven’t spoken to my son. My sister hasn’t spoken to my son. Christmas is right around the corner and I have no clue as to whether or not I’m having Christmas at our home. If it’s going to be yet another year of my son, daughter in law and nieces arguing with each other, I’m out. Cindy and I will go to the movies instead.

Cindy is still upset that my son screamed at for having her own daughter with her. Who wouldn’t be upset? It was stupid, irrational, hurtful and uncalled for.

My husband doesn’t tell me who I can have in my vehicle or spend time with so I will be damned if anyone else has the privilege to do so. I don’t need anyone’s permission as to who I spend my time with or my money on.

Had my son scheduled a time with me as I repeatedly asked him to on the day in question rather than choosing to call me at “his convenience” in order for me to pay for tires or told me that he didn’t want Stephaney with me none of this chaos would have ensued. I would have also had an opportunity to hold and visit my grandson that was taken from me due to my sons outrageous outburst. I could’ve also just sent the money via CashApp. Had I known or had any clue of my sons outburst ahead of time, I would have gladly sent the money instead.

Common sense is like breath spray. The people who need it the most don’t use it and get up in your face anyway.

My son’s behavior upset my sister so much that “she doesn’t even want to see or speak to him for who knows how long.”

I’m mailing unwrapped Christmas packages this year because having my feuding family under my roof to unwrap gifts is the last thing I want for Christmas. This year or ANY year.

My son has a new son. My grandson. My niece, Leigh Ann has her daughter, Maddy. These grandchildren are often used against Cindy and I by both my son and my niece.

Leigh Ann had threatened not to come to DFW if “she was going to have to be around Stephaney or ANY DRAMA.” Who are we kidding here? Our family ALWAYS has drama.

My son threatened “not to come over for Christmas if Stephaney is going to be there.”

Cindy and I told Leigh Ann “if you are going to start problems before you even get here just stay home. Since when has anyone got along in this family? When have you tried to get along? We aren’t going to walk around on eggshells for you or anyone else. You know what this family is like so don’t start trying to poke us in the eye with your wish list stick.”

My son told me “I told you I don’t want to see my cousin, Stephaney. If she is going to be at your house for Christmas, we aren’t coming. Don’t you want to see your grandson?” What the? Trying to use my own grandson against me? Making a dealbreaker as if he is in control of my life or decisions?

After all of this conflict and chaos even I don’t want to be at my own house for Christmas.

Hell, if there wasn’t a travel warning in CA I would go visit my sister in Lompoc just to get the heck out of Texas and take Cindy with me.

Years ago, there was so much conflict between Cindy and our dad and aunt regarding taking care of THEIR MOTHER under Cindy’s roof that I whisked Cindy off to Acapulco for our birthday and Thanksgiving. We had a Helluva great time away from our family that year. It was one of the best birthday presents I’ve ever given myself.

I can understand why families hate the holidays. It’s not the holiday. It’s their family.

Ugh, I’m so sick and tired of spending $8-10k every Christmas on a family hellbent on being unhappy. Seriously. It’s a bad investment.

Rather than attempting to make these family members happy, I’m spending money on what they need rather than what they want. It’s my money. I will spend it how I see fit on whom I choose to spend it on.

My niece, Leigh Ann was angry “Aunt Wendy spent $1600 on tires for her son and his wife’s tires.” Whose money is it?

Leigh Ann went to the dentist yesterday. She needed a deep cleaning and two caps. Leigh Ann is a spender who skates into payday by having Cindy and I PayPal her at least every other day. I said “if you’d like me to look at PayPal transactions to you from me in a 90 day window that exceed $1600 and send them to you I certainly can. Your mother can too. You are the last person who should be complaining about what we spend on your sister or my son. When someone in this family wants to start making deposits to my account they can start telling me how to spend my money.”

Now that Leigh Ann had been advised of Cindy as well as my own feelings regarding our finances and was also sent PayPal money to cover her dental visit yesterday from both of us, she isn’t being nearly as dramatic about what Cindy or I spend. Why? Because when you send money to people as often as we do to Leigh Ann, they have no idea HOW MUCH that amount magnifies and over time. Remind them. We did.

Our family needs a wake up call. We gave them one. All I want for Christmas is my family to get along with each other. It’s the gift I cannot ever get my hands on. It escapes my grasp year after year after year.

Cindy and I DID NOT HAVE a Wendy or Cindy. We had no one other than ourselves to rely on from 15 years old forward. We are realizing that our adult children have become entitled. The only way to solve this is going to be by educating all of them to budgeting and controlling their buddy bullying against Stephaney.

My son tells me that “Cindy and I are enablers.” He’s directing this accusation as if we only help Stephaney. He needs to redirect this enabling accusation to financing our entire family including him. My grandson, son, and daughter in law want for nothing. No one in our family goes without. Cindy and I put everyone’s needs prior to our own. For weeks now we’ve been mailing packages to my brother and his wife in North Carolina. We’ve spent hundreds on shipping alone. Unlike everyone else, my brother and his wife are thankful.

What’s going to happen to our family when Cindy and I aren’t here to “save the day” every time one of our children encounter a financial issue? I have no idea but one day they are going to find out.

I love my grandson and grandniece however I will not allow my son or my niece to dangle seeing them over my head like a carrot. Cindy won’t either.

A discussion with my husband last night regarding Christmas came up. “Are we doing Christmas here?” I haven’t decided. Do I need another day of having my family in the same room at the same time HOPING they can be civil? I’m on the fence.

Stephaney’s Christmas gift is paying her rent this month and buying work uniforms for her. I bought a few other small gifts for her of course so she will have gifts to open but her big gift is the rent, uniforms, her bus pass and basic essentials amounting to about $1200.

I try to keep my nieces, my son and his wife equal in the distribution of what I spend EVENLY DISTRIBUTED because after years of consistent competition I’ve learned to do so.

Cindy and I are consistently asked “what did you spend on so and so by so and so” from birthday gifts to Christmas presents every year. We need to start saying “why do you care?”

Next month Stephaney will be on her own. This is the last time Cindy and I are giving Steph another fresh start. At 34, it’s high time for her to get it together. Stephaney wants to move out of the group home. The rent is really high for a shared bedroom there. Stephaney wants a car. It’s on Stephaney to work for what she wants. Time will tell.

Families are mergers. Marriages are mergers. My husband doesn’t have any family to worry about. Cindy’s husband doesn’t have any family to worry about.

Our husbands married us and were “gifted” with our three children, their spouses and four grandchildren.

Our husbands ponied up to split the costs on raising the twins. They have no father in their lives. They never have had one. Our husbands assumed the role of father figures in the absence of the twins father.

Marrying Wendy and Cindy has brought our husbands years of chaos and conflict from our competing kids.

Thankfully, our husbands are far older, wiser and patient. Their goal is our happiness. That’s what a good marriage is. A partnership. As for families refusing to get along, I’m guessing our family isn’t the only family that will have chaos and catfights but peace is hard to come by and harder to keep for the Texas Twins when it comes to family…