Don’t Shake The Tree Unless You Are Willing To Eat The Fruit That Falls…

I haven’t written anything in some time due to a factor of reasons. First, I’m working and have been 7 days a week since October 2021 when Federal reinstated weddings and secondly I was playing catch up with clients cancelled in 2019-2021.

Most of you have read about my cancelled clients in The NY Times (Pandemic Rush On Prison Weddings published July 2021 by Zara Stone).

In May 2021, TDCJ reinstated weddings. Marrying those waiting the longest who had been cancelled became a priority for me. I’m often asked “how many weddings I perform a week?” The answer is 8-15. The question no one asks is how many vow renewals for previous clients I perform a weekend? 2-6. County weddings as well as some state, federal and traditional bookings have me booked out on weekends through 2023.

I am the most sought after prison officiant in the United States BUT there ARE reasons. I do what no one else will for MY clients. From providing wedding rings to designer perfume and a fun gift on wedding day to complimentary photos with my exclusive inventory of bouquets, tiaras, wedding jewelry, fascinators, veils, fun signs and more, there’s a REASON that no other officiant has the photos I do. The reason is me and over $100k of my money invested into an incredible inventory that fills 6 SUVs. What I do costs me money. Time and travel are my largest expenses as well as rings, gifts, photo editing, replacing fleet vehicles every 1-2 years, fuel and maintenance as well as shipping. You see, I don’t HAVE to work. I could have retired in 2012.

I’m not only experienced and over the top dedicated to making Dream Events a reality for my clients but also put my money where my mouth is. Most of my clients are posing showing the ring that I PROVIDED to them in their bridal or groom photos.

“Why do you do what you do for your clients?” Because no one did it for me.

“How many other people are on your staff that can conduct inmate weddings?” 4. My twin sister, my son, his wife and my niece but most clients want only me. I have extensive knowledge of all marriage laws within each state as well as state, federal, ice and county policies and procedure.

“What have you been up to besides working all of these months?” Interesting question. Fielding production companies with worthless contracts that I won’t sign. Nobody is gonna tie me down with rope they aren’t paying for. Busting my ass to get everyone married. Driving 3-5 thousand miles a week and flying the rest of the time. Fielding correspondence from prospective clients, editing photos, organizing my schedule that books out 4-6 weeks in advance at Units, writing contracts, interviewing ghost writers and on New Years Eve dealing with not 1 but 2 clients who “popped positive” at TDCJ Robertson then got out of their vehicles at the duty shack acting crazy and spreading Covid. Cindy was with me. She got it then the twins got it then my husband got it then my brother and his entire family got it. This was outrageous and selfish. There was no need for this type of behavior.

Last Thursday I was headed to Terrell Unit when my brother called to tell me our father was was dying from Covid and wanted me to tell him that I loved him as well as Cindy. Shit.

This was the most difficult request I’ve ever had. Those of you who read my blogs know why. Cindy and I left home at 15. We had no choice. No one in our “family” ever once helped us. My brother joined the Navy at 16 to get out.

Three years ago after the crazy antics of my father shooting at invisible intruders, he was committed. He blamed me for being committed. I literally saved him from prison. As usual I was the first person he called. I’m the most educated person pertaining to law in this family and always the “fixer.” It’s a shitty job.

Screaming and crying all the way to Centerville, I pulled over and sucked it up. I had 3 way called Cindy. We both sucked it up to make this call as we have all of our lives. Our “family” sucks. I only have anything to do with my son, his wife and grandsons, brother, sisters, nieces, nephews and grandnieces. I cut toxic family members out of my life 3 years ago after the shit show with my father. I was done. Sick and tired of saving everyone spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to do so that I’ve never been repaid and much less thanked for. Eff that. My check writing days are over. I knew I would have to cover funeral expenses for our father but AT LEAST I would finally have some effin closure.

PS- for those of you who REALLY want to know what’s going on in my life that isn’t “filtered,” run over to Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham.

I don’t post many things on my personal FB page, Wendy Marie Wortham BECAUSE a number of entertainment people are friends with me on both LinkedIn and FB.

I was at lunch with my client and her twin daughters when Cindy sent me a text “he died holding Jerry’s hand while reading the Bible to him.” Here I go “acting normal” in yet another abnormal situation while I’m with a client. I deserve a damn award for acting normal throughout my life with a shit show of chaos going on always from my “family.”

It was now time for Wendy and Cindy to pay for the funeral expenses. I called my brothers wife to get the contact information and price. I also tried to pay them over the phone. Stay tuned because they had reasons to NOT take my money on Thursday.

Friday I was in Abilene redoing one of the 2 New Year’s Eve brides I had rescheduled at Robertson. I wasn’t happy with her other photos when the funeral home called and jacked up the cost by $1457. They also added a ceremony fee of $500. I perform ceremonies as well as funeral ceremonies and questioned these “add ons.” I was told “we have the body now.” Those son of a bitches.

The only thing my twin and I got out of a lifetime of being abused by my “family” was the bill for our father. Typical as shit in this family.

Over the weekend and while working (as usual) the funeral home sends me an email that requires that I as the authorized person sign in front of a notary. On a WEEKEND? Where in the hell was I going to find a damn notary?

I emailed them back and told them that was impossible and that I would be back in Fort Worth on Monday. I didn’t read the attachment that had my last name wrong. I wish I had but I’m overwhelmed as hell.

Monday I had 4 clients, 2 clerks offices to file licenses and the post office AS WELL as the bank to get their document notarized. Bank 1 “your name is incorrect.”

I cannot begin to tell you how infuriated I was about this. I call them and tell them to send another email while sitting at clerks office 1. Leaving the clerks office they AGAIN send documents with the wrong name. I’m losing my shit now. I have too little time to deal with unprofessional and sloppy paperwork.

I’m so damn mad leaving clerks office 1 to clerks office 2 that my hand is shaking trying to pay the parking meter and I drop my credit card then have to crawl under my suv to get it. Damnit I’m so furious at this idiot funeral home I can’t even put it into words. I have no time to do this shit before the memorial on Weds because leaving at 4:30AM Tuesday for McConnell and Garza Units then McClennan County Jail (about 14 hours of driving alone not including bridal photos and time inside the Units) and Weds I’m at Huntsville Unit and Walker County Jail then Green Bay Unit.

TIME is more IMPORTANT to me than MONEY. I can always make more money. I can never make more time and I’ve been dealing with clients, traveling and stress from this stupid funeral home since last Thursday.

Finally Monday at 4PM I’m at bank 3 (all banks were Frost as I have 4 accounts at Frost. Everyone knows me). I also have 4 accounts at another bank. I don’t believe in keeping all my eggs in the same basket and keep 4 safety deposit boxes. This time the banker called the funeral home.

The obituary had my name correct. The credit card I paid with had my name correct. What the eff was the deal with these people? Bank 3 finally got them to email the correct name and emailed it back to them. The memorial is Weds. I will be working as usual and traveling as usual.

Today while driving through Kenedy, Texas, my aunt Shirley called my brother “wanting to know about assets.” How hilarious and typical. If you are reading this Shirley, Cindy took care of you and dads mother by moving her into her home 18 years after you 2 dumped her on Cindy. You also wiped out anything of value most of it being the jewelry we had bought her for Mother’s Day, Christmas and her birthday. You left us nothing but a mess to clean up. Eff off. Whatever he had is going to Jerry who housed and cared for him the past 3 years. Cindy and I don’t want shit but I can assure you that you aren’t going to get shit. Not as long as I’m living and breathing.

I never did get the Rona. I don’t know why. Everyone around me did. My husband is still recovering as are Cindy and the twins as well as my brother and his family.