Communication Would Solve A Lot Of Problems…

For years now and I mean many years I knew that being open and honest would offend some folks and wouldn’t others. I didn’t care.

Last night while referring a client to another officiant, I read a text that said “sorry I don’t do LBGT weddings.”

There’s another officiant who called me to say the same thing.

Listen to each his own however if I’m referring someone who came to me to you I need to know these facts ahead of time not after the fact.

From 2012-2015 prior to the Supreme Court ruling granting LBGT couples the right to marry, I traveled to many other states because LBGT marriage was legal there but not in Texas.

One couple I married in Oklahoma contacted me to get insight on divorce. Because LBGT marriage wasn’t legal at the time, the divorce had to be filed in Oklahoma although neither was a resident of Oklahoma.

After I agreed to the 2015 Dallas Morning News interview and subsequent article with Jeff Mosier, the amount of opinions and backlash from strangers was shocking to me.

Why were these people upset? They weren’t invited to the wedding.

I will never forget a couple I was marrying at the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens. One of the gentlemen told me “my family members would be more comfortable if we didn’t kiss at the wedding.”

This bothered me. After all the couple had hired me not their family. If someone was uncomfortable why were they attending the wedding?

I stopped to think about my response before asking “what do you want to do? This is your wedding not theirs.”

The couple decided to kiss at their wedding and no one said a word about it.

Many of my friends are LBGT. In fact my longtime accountant, Tom Anable who was present at the Raid on the Rainbow Lounge as well as Charles Thomason were both like many of my friends within the community, amazing people.

Tom McAvoy who owned the Rainbow Lounge lent us his building several times for film projects and events.

Rudy Smedley lent us his karate studio and even donated his band for the filming of Pawning Planners.

Why then are those who support LBGT marriage and those who don’t so separated and segregated in their views and opinions? I have no idea.

For many years when I had a more flexible schedule, I sponsored the Tarrant County Pride Parade. Many people are unaware that for years the parade was in the bar district rather than through the streets of downtown.

It was Betsy Price who made this change as mayor and opened the city to the parade.

The decision as to whether or not to decline a request to conduct a ceremony is entirely up to the vendor and beyond my control when I refer a vendor not knowing they refuse service to an LBGT couple.

However there are many other vendors like me who welcome diversity and this gives couples the options they need to choose who they want to celebrate their joyous event with.