Cindy Daniel on #Cindyism & the DanielDivaDiggs With Her Husband Steve Daniel 

My sister Cindy is constantly complaining about her never ending “Honey Do” list for Steve Daniel.

After torrential rains swept through Texas “there’s more weeds than grass growing out there!” Cindy shakes her head and goes on upstairs.

#Cindyism “If you ain’t mowing my grass, get outta my yard!”

The deck was broken years ago but, even though Cindy constantly complains, Steve ignores these consistent complaints #cindyism “don’t come through my door if you are too good to sweep my porch.”

Cindy fixed the awnings herself with zip ties after asking for two years and concerned they would fall off the house, Steve said “let them fall off- I would need to get the ladder and fix that.” In her usual Cindy manner, my sister finds that it is often easier to fix things herself! #itaintghettoifitworks!

Cindy told Steve “don’t expect no honey from this pot if you ain’t willing to go out and get stung!”

The fence is held up with cable ties because Cindy fixed it herself after strong winds knocked it down.

Cindy can fix damn near anything because she’s learned how to overcome the obstacle of expecting Steve to.

A few weeks ago, Steve surprised EVERYONE by repairing one of the lawn chairs I gave them years ago with a missing leg with a broken umbrella- occasionally, Steve Daniel can jump right in and effectively “take one for the team!”

Ironically, Steve is a fun loving and easy going guy that “doesn’t like to get his hands dirty.”

While he has been “saving the farm” for years, he has no interest in “fixing it.”

Steve is a good time Charlie that prefers hitting the McDonalds with the Little Pawners and surfing youtube for old rock and roll music and Three Stooges, Little Rascals reruns. Steve wears head phones to “tune out” Cindy with her constant requests for something to get fixed “around here.”

Today while downtown filing documents at the courthouse in Fort Worth, Cindy sat in the car and waited on me. This wasn’t unusual- she hates the courthouse. She has to “empty her bra” and her back sets off the metal detector as well as her hair.

While clipping her cuticles with the air conditioner running and her feet on my dash, today a visitor appeared at the passenger window wearing a knee length tan colored rain coat.

Assuming he was homeless, Cindy rolled down the window and opened up my ash trash tray that I keep quarters for parking in. The Little Pawners had taken the quarters and left a AAA card and some pennies with a broken wedding ring. Cindy never “carries cash.” That’s what I’m here for- to pay for everything!

The well spoken hairy, coat wearing man was apparently disappointed with “the take” and flashed my sister. Cindy said he was pretty smug and stated “are you surprised?” Cindy responded with her usual #cindyims “nope, I’m disappointed.” After getting “over” her initial shock at the size of this “asset” my sister quickly collected herself and added “why would anything that small need a show?” “However, since you’ve pulled your chair up to my table, you get to hear my dinner prayer, God Bless fools like you and the rest of us that have to put up with you. I’m thankful my tiny Texas Twins (aka The Little Pawners) weren’t here to see this show. You may want to find another way to earn tips!”

This was the funniest “incident” I’ve heard of ALL WEEK! Everyone remembers the fingerless man with the bloodied face Cindy invited to dinner at Turks in Dana Point last winter who was wearing a puffy jacket, no shirt, no shoes and missing his finger “from a shark attack!”

Whoever ever heard of a shark eating only one finger?! I was immediately suspicious and, a few hundred dollars poorer after he ordered steak and lobster and, a Bloody Mary! I’ve gotta tell ya, this homeless guy knew how to order! Ironically, neither Cindy not I questioned his bloody face. However, the chronic cough had both of us “skipping” out on eating our own meals which the “Finger Missing Fella” packed up to “feed his dog.” This incident was SO WEIRD that I actually did a 360 looking for a camera crew and someone to scream “smile you are on candid camera!” Instead, another well dressed diner appeared to request “a beer and chili.” The “finger missing fella” was immediately put out over this and challenged the validity of the well dressed homeless man being “homeless.” I will never forget it, and, I’ve never left a restaurant $278.00 later (I overtipped, as usual since our waitress was as horrified as we were) and, HUNGRY!

Still laughing and heading to Best Buy with Makenna Marie (my little Mini Me) to get her computer, I’ve gotta admit, Cindy Daniel is the funniest person one ever met, with her husband Steve pulling a close second and, Little Pawner Maryssa Ann pulling right into third place!