Cindy Daniel has numerous shortcuts to homemaking that most assuredly do not meet my own standards of living! You see, my family says I take their drinks away before they’re finished in order to have no dishes “laying around” Cindy’s home is the sought after “chill zone.”
My twin is also my partner and happy go lucky photographer for Texas Twins Events who can often be found “visiting” with the guests at our numerous weddings.
She’s a social butterfly who often forgets that we are supposed to be working at these events and- I usually take photos for her as well as conducting the ceremony and articulating the event because she’s having such a good time “visiting” and entertaining!
Does this bother me? No, my sister is pretty funny and I’ve been told I’m too serious, bossy and strict. Family members refer to me as the “captain” and view some of my rules as “over the top” and occasionally, “rigid.”
While I find these comments to be somewhat exaggerated, it is also true that I am the task taker, the driver, the planner and the preparer. This being said, I would love to be the charming sister but, somebody has to control the chaos and it happens to be me.
My twin is also known as a comedy queen with a list of one liners that I occasionally don’t understand. When not hanging out and “visiting with the guests” she can also be my ears and enforcer when the occasional dead best client attempts to “stiff” or “short” me on fees.
Cindy once told a client who claimed she had no money to pay her fees for 4 bridesmaids bouquets, four boutenniers and a bridal bouquet as well as my fees for the ceremony “honey, you best find a hat and pass it around because my sister took time outta her day to arrive on time for your event and outlined a very clear understanding of the terms and, I won’t let you take advantage of her.” Ironically, this Bride found the money to cover my floral designs as well as my wedding officiant fees after being challenged that my twin sister would “rustle up all the flowers and Wendy on our way out the door, ya all have a nice party!” Translation= this isn’t the first time someone has tried to “stiff” me and, my sister is not only quick witted she’s also creative in getting me paid! She once passed a cup around and informed a client that if he didn’t come up with the fee after claiming he forgot his wallet that we were on our way to dinner and good luck finding somebody else on short notice cowboy! Needless to say, she once again endured that I wasn’t cheated by a client. You see my twin can come up with a quirky one liner for damn near anything under the sun!
#cindyism #cindyslang #cindyquotes
#cindyism #cindysquotes #cindyslang #wendywortham #cindydaniel #thepawningplanners #texastwinsevents
“Slick willy tried to oil my chassis, without even greasing my palm” (and if your my husband) you ain’t been my mechanic for awhile pal!
“I ain’t taking auditions, for a sold out show”
“No, I don’t need an opening act, for this gig”
“I didn’t hand you my keys, so what makes you think, you can behind the wheel”
“He would forget the rope, for his own hanging”
“That guys smarts, done turned to farts, and they both, flew away”
“Unless your feeding the animals, keep out of MY barn”
“Don’t put me under a microscope, unless your willing to clean the glass, first”
“If you ain’t my mechanic, keep out of MY garage”
“Hey this oil leak, done turned into an oil spill, call osha”
“She can’t tell the difference between a ladle and a spoon” (she can’t cook)
“Thank you Jesus, for duct tape”
“She’s like a truckers cb radio, anybody can pick her up”
“Don’t hitch your horse to MY wagon”
“Saddle up with a tent fellas, cause this long day gonna run overnight”
“Don’t give cooking advice, when you only own a microwave”
“You could turn her on, faster than cable TV ”
“All ranch and NO cattle” (liar)
“All farm and NO crop” (liar)
“He talks SO much my apples done turned to cider”
“Don’t tell me how to sew, when you can’t even thread a needle”
“A REAL cowboy doesn’t wear a 10 gallon hat and drive a two gallon car”
“This shit getting so deep, even the farm animals need rainboots”
“Just because your a clown, doesn’t qualify you as the circus ringleader”
“Her hair looks like it done been through the hay baylor TWICE ”
“I am so confused, I almost lost my weave, shaking my head”
“She’s a few pickets, short of a fence”
“He’s tighter than barbwire” (cheap)
“Hey, that story has more holes, than the donut store”
“Shes a couple of wheels short of a Dooley”
“Busier than a florist, during the rose bowl”
“I feel like I fell off the tractor, and got run over by the plow”
I need a catchers mitt, for all the crap their throwing”
Busier than a surfer, during tsunami”
“Don’t try to come thru my front door, if your too good, to sweep my porch”
“Don’t come around to work the harvest, if you weren’t there, to plant the crop”
“That guy talks faster, that a sunrise preachers sermon”
“Bet you expect me to make gravy out of water too”
“She’s so tight fisted, she could squeeze a diamond, out of coal”
“There’s more crap in here, than grandpa’s outhouse”
“Some people like to stir up more crap, than a cat in a litter box”
#meetmytwin #twinsisters #twinstuff #twingirls #twinning
Being a Minister can sometimes have clients assume that I’m either a soft touch or, a sucker. My sister when not lounging around and enjoying the party can also be the enforcer, the fixer (she has an emergency “kit of tricks”) the soother, and the buffer for cranky in laws or wedding guests. You see, she can be a chameleon with a sense of humor.
She has some shortcuts that, I must admit are amazing and a “quick quote” on everything from saving time to “hitting a lick” with a quick flip!
The #1 priority for my sister is the care, dressing and rearing of the Tiny Texas Twins, Maryssa and Makenna Mahaney whom she has raised since birth. They are 10 and for the past 10 years, her life has revolved directly around these girls as well as numerous medical visits to address their needs. Cindy put her own life aside to care for these twins and takes great pride in them.
Her ideas for times saving tips horrify me and, have me wondering where she even came up with such preposterous plans.
On wearing house slippers for shoes- “Nobody knows they aren’t shoes, except you! I get compliments everywhere I go and, the added bonus is that I don’t have to paint my toenails! Score.” PS, if anyone is seeking a last minute gift idea for Cindy, she wears a medium 7/8.
On putting up Christmas lights- “What? You would have to take them down and do it all over again next year to boot! Besides, you put up lights at your house.”
On cooking holiday meals- “who needs all that work? I don’t know why you bother with it, let’s go do something fun. Six Flags, the movies you name it, anything beats cooking and cleaning!”
On going the wrong way on a one way street- “Why are they honking? Is it someone we know ?” (In Texas, it’s rare to hear a car horn. However, in California, car horns are used with such frequency that no one pays attention to them!)
On storing holiday items- Cindy owns a hand dolly and uses it every year to slide right under her tree, ornaments and all, transporting the tree with the lights still on it right into the corner of the shed located in the backyard of the Daniel Diggs. I must admit my sister easily shaves 4 hours of putting up and taking down the Christmas tree and find myself somewhat envious of this time saving trick.
What do you mean it’s too long or doesn’t fit? “Give me a needle and some thread, I will fix this with a whipstitch in seconds!” Her ability to find a solution to any last minute emergency with her “kit of tricks” is astonishing! Cindy has a flair with ideas that could have been documented on a McGiver episode.
On finding a restroom immediately- “Hey, at our age when I tell you I gotta go- I’m not jacking around! Pull over”
On cooking- well if I absolutely have to go “burn something up” for Steve Daniel, I’m gonna get it done as fast as I can!
Her projects are many and they all revolve around the tiny Texas Twins. Cindy is an artist at crafting tutus, headbands, aprons and leggings that are one of a kind and, the twins are asked to pose for photos everywhere we go.
On pajamas- Why do people spend money on that? I’ve got my husbands t shirts and boxer shorts.
On facial cream- “The added bonus is that this stuff is an awesome leather conditioner and, it’s cheap too!”
On “hitting a lick”- Give me a magnet, I think I got something here!
On wearing prescription sunglasses at night- “Sure I can see, not very good but don’t worry I know where I’m going, stop complaining about my driving !”
On glitter glue- this stuff is awesome! You can make anything dazzling in a few minutes! (Never mind the fact that glitter glue is on every possible surface of one end of her house to the other including the toilet seat and, her pajama “outfit”)
Holiday Meals- I don’t know why people bother with all that, it’s too much work, the new movies come out during the holidays anyway!
On toll roads- why would anyone want to spend good money to drive on a street?
On closet space for her husband- Why is he complaining? He’s got two drawers and, I need the space for the twins stuff (the twins stuff takes 3 rooms of the house)
On covering her pool- ya know, I thought about using that cover and decided it was too much trouble! After all, there’s a CSI on TV tonight.
On writing thank you notes or, sending Christmas Cards (which I do on her behalf and have our entire life)- what a waste of time ! Nobody really reads that stuff, do they?
Planning a family outing- why do you spend all this time on a “schedule?” Let’s just “wing it!”
Yard work- why would anyone want to plant real flowers? The dollar tree has fake ones all day long and, I don’t have to water em either!
On guest towels- what are they and is somebody coming over? I didn’t invite anybody
On trimming her hedges- what do you mean? I’ve got a free privacy fence growing out there!
On her fence falling down- bring me some rope and nails- I’ve got an idea!
On her honey do list of chores for Steve- every time I ask him to do something around here, I can’t find him!
On buying “too many” outfits for Maryssa and Makenna Mahaney- I don’t know what you’re talking about, most kids NEED at least 25 pairs of shoes!
On fixing the twins hair- Wendy, you can’t do it right, step away and let an expert handle it!
On cutting or trimming the twins hair- are you crazy ? Get that thought right out of your head- you don’t want me to kill you, do you!
On suggestions for organizing the “projects” or, remodeling “one room at a time in her home”- well, it’s like this, I got bored! I’m moving on to something else
On packing for a trip- I’ve got one black outfit, it works with “everything”
On appropriate attire- who gave you the idea that you need everybody to be uncomfortable to be “properly dressed?” I have never heard of an outfit needed to go shopping!
On movies- there’s got to be some excitement and action going on or I’m bored, did you get the popcorn? She loves popcorn- I can’t eat it due to diverticulitis, I would love to but I can’t.
On washing your hands- yea well, I’m wearing black pants and I just wipe em off!
On sending dry clean only clothes to the cleaners- yea I read that and I thought who are they to tell me what to do?
On cleaning out trash in her purse- I was saving it, you never know when you might need something to write on!
On wrapping gifts- I don’t know why you have a “wrapping room” most folks want to know what it is, it’s called instant gratification!
On giving me a dog after moving into my new custom home- I’ve decided with that big ole place, you needed a companion! Yep, to throw up on my carpets and chew the bases of doors and shed everywhere from furniture to floors, I NEED a companion!
For a person that strives for perfection in every aspect of my life, my twin sister is “something else” and, never ceases to amaze me with her iconic “Cindyism” ideas about life!