Blending families often involves blending children and since I was recently asked about ideas on how to keep a ceremony flowing while involving children, today’s blog will give you a few “pointers.”
My Introduction often varies on the clients wishes- we can do a separate ceremony for the child or children after the wedding ceremony or a unity candle or sand ceremony or even a gift exchange similar to the ring exchange for the parents only the gifts bestowed are to the children.
A separate ceremony for children is as follows: “often a marriage is viewed as the Union of two persons. In reality, marriage is much broader. It is always a joining of families. The Unity of God’s Family recognizes children as part of the family nature of this marriage as we acknowledge ____ and (his/her/their) importance.”
“Presentation of this gift (or gifts) to children (this/these/, pendants/rings/lapel pins etc) we pledge to you, ____, our continuing love as we surround you with our arms of support.”
“You are the bows from which your children as the living arrows are sent forth.”
“We give thanks, O Lord, for the relationship here celebrated. In your presence we are humbled by the recognition that today we Dave a new future, one which love has unfolded and is unfolding before our eyes. It is my pleasure to present this bride and groom in their new marriage as husband and wife with their children.”
Another example is the Unity Candle Ceremony: “Bride and Groom please light these candies that will represent your love for one another and for ___. From the uniqueness of these separate flames, they kindle a larger and brighter flame which represents this union between (Bride, Groom & Child or Children). The side candles remain burning to symbolize the continuing importance of the individual integrity within the marriage relationship. The greater height of the center candle depicts the belief that together they can become more than either would alone.”
Written vows from the Bride, Groom or both can also be read to the children. I think anytime that my clients bring a personal element to a ceremony-the emotional touch enriches the promises made to each other and the children.
Be sure to include children with the frivolity of preparing for your ceremony by involving them with hair and makeup along with formal attire (if it is a formal event) to make them feel a part of your day.
Unity sand is also a very popular way to involve children with the pouring of the sand. But, whatever you desire to do by involving your children in the ceremony is completely up to you. Blending families is more and more common these days so bear in mind the importance of their attendance by bringing them to the rehearsal. I say this often because it is very important if children are in the wedding party that they (along with everyone else) have an opportunity to feel comfortable with their place, walk and/or contribution to the ceremony.
Our mini me twins, Maryssa & Makenna Mahaney aka The Little Pawners have been flower girls and ring bearers in numerous events the past five years.
We always take them to get a new dress along with their hair and nails done in order to get them excited about being a part of the wedding and–they love being in weddings because of it. A wedding is a very exciting event and everyone in the wedding party deserves to feel important and needed because they are.