Flips, Flops, Switch Hitters & Surprises? When An LBGT Couple I’ve Married “Change Direction,” I Find Out Why…

When Tamara and Michelle contacted me last year to officiate their wedding with cake & champagne at White Rock Lake, it wasn’t an “unusual request.”

I made arrangements with my team, ordered the cake, packed bouquets I was loaning, champagne flutes and more while my son and his wife along with our Little Pawners prepared to go meet these new friends.

Arriving early (as usual) we found Tabatha and Michelle a little dissapointed regarding the overcast weather and worried about their wedding photos.  I offered to redo the wedding if we didn’t get great shots due to the weather.

My daughter in law, Stephanie Hafele was watching the ducks as the couple walked over the bridge and we realized the battery died as evidenced in this video on May 3, 2016-White Rock Lake With Tamara & Michelle.  Due to the video camera dying, and not having the music Michelle had forgotten to bring, we conducted the ceremony and cut the cake anyway. I reviewed the wedding photos and printed them before mailing them to the couple.  Like the couple, I wasn’t happy with the wedding photos.  It was simply too dark and grainy-weather factors highly in great photos!

Wendy Wortham With Michelle & Tabby White Rock Lake
  A few days later, Tamara reached out and wanted to have another wedding (with video) at a favorite park of theirs an hour from my home.  We once again packed up and drove to the park.  My brother in law, Steve Daniel joined us along with Maryssa & Makenna Mahaney acting as flower girls. 

 As we arrived at the park, Stephanie Hafele found several locations for photos and we had a clear day for video.  I suggested Michelle carry my bouquet at this event because at White Rock Lake, the photos weren’t very clear and we needed more contrast than my boutenniers gave them against the colorful tops they wore.

 I was certain that after two wedding ceremonies, this couple would stay together forever.  I was wrong.  The couple looked happy enough as this second video shows, but apparently they weren’t-Vow Renewal With Michelle & Tabby.

Last week, Michelle contacted me on FB messenger regarding a country themed wedding.  I quickly inquired about the date and location while asking about Tabby.  Here’s that shocker- Michelle wasn’t planning a wedding with Tabby, she was planning a wedding with a man.

Dissapointed, I wanted to ask what had happened over the past year but I didn’t.  Instead, I went to both of their FB profiles and found the photos that Tabby had loved so much had been taken down.  Within months of both their weddings to get the photos and video they wanted- this couple had divorced.  I was shocked and saddened to learn about this.

 But I can’t “make couples” stay together and neither can anyone else.

I called Cindy to discuss officiating another wedding for Michelle because I was concerned about hurting Tabby who we considered a friend.  It’s “sticky” because after having two weddings with this couple, we “feel” like we know them.

Taking a few days to decide whether Tabby would mind us planning a wedding with Michelle, I decide to message her and ask.

Michelle had 3 children from a previous relationship and Tabby had none.  Apparently, the separation of Michelle from her children caused her much strife.  Also, Tabby’s family weren’t happy about their wedding and relationship so–there were a lot of issues affecting the long term odds of the marriage working.

After viewing Michelle’ s FB page, it appears she’s very happy with her fiancée and children.  I quickly viewed Tabby’s page and found that she too was happy and had moved on.

Both women had put both of their weddings behind them and moved on.  Because of this, we agreed to help Michelle with her wedding next year.

Some of you may be wondering why we care?  We become friends with former clients.

I will never forget the Bambi Morgan Wedding.  We were all so excited to share in the joy of that wedding and we loved Bambi and her mother as this blog details-Lake Murray Oklahoma With My Team.

I was devastated that Bambi’s wedding was over within months of their ceremony.  My heart ached for both Bambi and her mother over something that started out joyous but ended in heartache.

I drove to Oklahoma to conduct my very first LBGT wedding because Bambi asked me to.  I made all of the bouquets and boutenniers and we were honored that Bambi wanted my team to be part of her day. We loved this wedding & would put it at our top 10 favorite adventures.

 The “back story” gives you far more information on how I met Bambi and more importantly, our long term friendship after meeting on the Fort Worth Courthouse stairs for a group unification ceremony that I was sponsoring for TCGPWA that included a wedding cake with my team –Bambi Morgan & Our Friendship.  

Some of you might be surprised to learn that I not only believe in LBGTQ marriage, I fought to legalize it after losing friends that were unable to be insured on their partners policy or make burial decisions, or were cheated out of their inheritance by family members of the deceased.  My reasons for championing same sex marriage were watching friends lose everything simply because they were LBGTQ and had no legal rights.

Traveling to Oklahoma to officiate an LBGTQ wedding because it was legal there and not in Texas for the Bambi Morgan wedding gives you more insight on why I’m willing to go above and beyond with my team to “pull off” a Dream Event.

Bambi deserved someone to love her and she didn’t find it.  One day we hope Bambi finds someone to love her unconditionally and look forward to sharing their day with them.

My hope is that everyone we marry will stay married but I can’t control that.  No one can.

The truth is that we aren’t like other wedding vendors with a “show me the money” attitude.  We care so much about the people we help with a Dream Event that when things don’t work out, we fret, we wonder and we worry about the pain a divorce brings.  Yes, we are different! We care.

Hopefully this marriage for Michelle will work out and Tabby will one day find a life partner but in the wedding business, you never really know what will happen- you hope for a happy ending but these things take time & the “right” partner…

Wendy M Wortham